Many people in Singapore come for tarot readings with us at The Love Witch - online or in-store, with hopes of gaining the best clarity and direction for a situation they’re facing. The common responses to tarot readings about love include relief, sadness in facing the reality of things, and also, for some people - the sudden desire to change things to suit their own narrative.

The most common question we get as tarot readers here would be, "can he/she/them change?"

The reality is that you cannot change another human being - they can only change themselves, and over time, not overnight. When we’re in love, or even infatuated with someone, we are sometimes unaware that we’re actually in love with our perception of that person, and not the person themselves. Every human being has 50-75000 thoughts in a day and we can never fully understand another person inside-out. Therefore, people have the choice to present themselves to us in a certain way, for us to like them. If we’re able to accept that what we see is just what they project to us, it would be easier for us to take a step back and detach ourselves from them, when necessary. 

The purpose of advice given during tarot and what tarot does for you, is to reflect on your own choices, your mindsets, beliefs and actions, and how to better your situation in the given circumstances. You can’t change someone else to better suit you, but you do have the ability to change yourself to improve your situation. The question then would be – do you want to change yourself for this person? Are you able to, consistently? Is it something you can manage, based on your own set of values, and your goals and aspirations for life?

When you go for a tarot reading for love and things seem to not be working out in your favour, the questions you should ask yourself would be: 

• “Am I able to make any practical and sustainable changes, which I am in complete agreement with, that can improve the situation?” 

• “Can I make better choices next time?”

• “Can I cut the cords from certain individuals who are toxic or harmful to me in any way?”
• “Can I try to change self-limiting beliefs about myself and what I am worth, or what I deserve?” 
• “Do I need to tweak my expectations  as I compare them to the reality of things in my situation?”
• If the other party seems unsuitable or exhibits hurtful and even damaging behaviour towards you, always put yourself first and ask: 
• “Do I really want to live the rest of my life tolerating such behaviour or treatment from this person?”
• “What does it say about my perception of my own SELF WORTH if I do so?”
• “Am I being fair to myself?” 
• “Am I putting myself first here?”

There are currently 7.674 billion people in the world, if a relationship with one person doesn’t work out, believe that there is still a chance for you to find someone else out there, especially for the betterment of your mental and emotional health.